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Amateur Night is Coming .............

Saturday Night. New Years Eve. The annual event where people who have been good all year for Santa, sneak out while he's recouping from his Christmas jet lag and misbehave.

New Years Eve is always a Cluster *#@^ in the ER. I've worked all but one of the last 14 New Years in the ER and there is always something to laugh about.

Generally, (and I hope I don't jinx myself here) New Years is a suprisingly quiet night. There's always one or two goofy bastards who wind up being drug in by some concerned friends for "Alcohol Poisoning". Lightweights who get carried away and pass out early and resist all attempts to get them off the floor.

Once in a great while, these folks really are in need of someone to maintain an airway for them as they try to pull a Jimi Hendrix and choke on their own vomit. Not to often though, thankfully. Mostly they piss on themselves and snooze quietly in a warm puddle of their own making.

ER people fear the "Post Midnight MVA" most of all. That's when some drunk turns their 2001 Mustang GT into a 3000lb not so smart bomb and successfully targets another driver at high speed. Ugly shit happens then.

The drunk driver rarely dies. Darwin is funny about that one. I've heard lots of theories about why that is, but I don't know if I believe any of them.

If you're going out New Years Eve. Have a driver, take a cab or don't drink if you're gonna drive. Simple.

Heck, walk if it's convenient and close. Or better yet - Stay Home. Back when I played in Bands, NYEve was a big night. Big money and lots of tips. Most of us needed the money then too. But even we were afraid of the drive home after seeing so many stupid asses getting falling ass down drunk and stumbling off to the parking lot. I still shiver at that picture.

Be cool and Be safe. I don't want to meet you in the ER, OK?

I Got a Sweater for Christmas ...........

I really wanted a moaner or a screamer.

Unk hopes you all had a nice Christmas. I was either sick or working (or both) the whole time and didn't have a chance to wish anyone greetings till now. Sorry about that.

The Best Laid Plans ..............








I'd like to meet the guy who draws this stuff.
Like most of these pictures, I stole this one from:

Curmudgeonly and Skeptical www.rshultz.blogspot.com .

More Christmas Funnies............









Stolen from Kim at: www.theothersideofkim.com See Link on sidebar

Damn, I've Got a Migraine..........

The weather is much nicer today. Sunny and low 40's now and it should get warmer over the next few hours.

And I got a friggin' headache. Argh!!!!!!! These are not just "Headaches". I don't know how to explain it.

This is a new phenomena that's popped up over the last year. Not fun. That beautiful Sunshine? Kills me. Makes me want to throw up. No way I can go ride. Shit.

I broke down and took the "Big Narco Headache Meds" about an hour ago and it's a little better. Even if my Liver is not. Gonna have to go try and sleep it off.

Shit.

Update 0330 Saturday: I think I finally shook this thing. Took another dose of the "Big Narco Meds" to do it though. Woke up (again) about an hour ago and realized I was hungry. Then it dawned on me that I had tossed everything I'd eaten all day long. DUH!

I feel pretty washed out, but my head isn't killing me anymore at least. I don't know how people deal with migraines on a regular basis. This is only the 4th one I've had and I'm already terrified of next one. They are completely debilitating. I've got a pretty good tolerance to pain overall, but these things frighten me.

OK, enough with the whining. I'm better now and on the way back to normalcy, so life goes on and that's good.

Christmas at Arlington................












A beautiful and sobering picture of Arlington National cemetery.
May Our hero's rest well. Please remember Our Service Men and Woman this Christmas. See the Sidebar for Service related support links if you need ideas.

Link:
http://freedomfolks.blogspot.com/2005/12/Christmas-at-arlington.html

Update: The Freedom Folks have been added to the links on the sidebar.

They Lied. Brrrrrr............

Took off for a ride on the Concours about 11 am. It was about 42 degrees,Sunny and getting warmer. Not bad. Rode into town and topped off the gas tank and did some Christmas shopping. Bought the boy some tools, so he'll leave mine alone. Maybe.

Got that out of the way and headed South for a ride. Saw two young guys on sportbikes and we all waved enthusiastically to each other. I think it was to reassure ourselves that there are other folks out there who will ride when the weather isn't the best also.

Rode to a little restaurant about 20 miles Southeast of here. I took the scenic route and made it about a 40 mile ride. Other than my hands getting cold, it was all right.

Let me tell you about this place. It's out in the middle of nowhere. Well, it is a town of sorts. There's about 15 - 20 houses scattered about an intersection of 2 county roads at a 4 way stop. There's a Barber shop (open on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday only) a small post office, 3 empty buildings and a restaurant.

The building that houses the restaurant is really old and shows it. Both inside and out. The food is good basic stuff and cheap. Plus you get a lot of it.

That's the good part. The bad part is that the place looks like it may fall in on you at any minute and ........... to put it nicely, it's a dump. My wife refuses to go near the place. Understand, Queen Buffness is not picky, nor does she suffer from an overinflated sense of self. She just has standards a bit higher than mine.

It's been awhile since I'd been there and I'd forgotten about the decor. 70's Goodwill rejects. Interesting does not really describe it. I was afraid the wiring, which is exposed for easy inspection throughout the place, was gonna combust at any minute. I figure if that happened, the insurance company would be out at least $300 bucks for all the furnishings and equipment in the place. Yeah, it's a little rough. Maybe I'm being a little harsh. The Elvis stuff is probably worth a couple of hundred bucks.

I ate anyway. After all, I got used to Army chow, not a hell of a lot scares me anymore. Cheeseburger, fries and coffee. $3.38 plus $1.00 for the waitress with the speech impediment. Yeah, the staff and clientele seem to fit the overall look of the place.

I know what you're thinking and maybe I don't look to out of place there.

The Sun disappeared and the temp began to drop while I was eating. It was 37 degrees when I got back home. I still enjoyed the ride. It's supposed to be mid to high 40's tomorrow. We'll see. I'll probably ride if it's anything close to that. Probably pick a different place to eat though.

Ooh, Ooh. No. No. No..........

That's what the Motorcycle was saying to me this morning as I tried to get it to start. It's only been a week since I last started it, but it's only about 25 degrees out too.

It's supposed to get up to around 40 by noon or so and I'm hoping to go for a ride later.

That's if I don't fall asleep. Working nights all the time makes it a real challenge to do anything in real people time.

Riding should commence in about 2 hours if it's anything over freezing. Screw it, I'm gonna ride. I need to get it warmed up good and change the oil if nothing else. Winter sucks.

Update. It's only 10am and I can feel a big difference out there already. YES!

More Christmas Stuff..........

Guitar Stories................

I've been playing guitar for about 34 years now. Sounds like a long time and I guess it is. Now that I think of it, I ought to be much better than I am after all that time. But I never really wanted to be a "Guitar God" or anything. I started playing mainly to pick up girls.

Yeah, big surprise that one. I had a buddy who was as ugly as Fidos Ass, but he picked up the girls because he could halfass play guitar. I figured if that ugly mutt could do that and I'm only half as ugly as him............ Yeah, a plan was formed and I went out and got a cheap Epiphone acoustic box.

I had played guitar for about 6 months when I was 13 but that shit was a lot like work and I was so ADD (Attention Defecit Disorder) I just couldn't do it and being forced to practice made me just wanna break stuff. Mom got tired of fighting about it and that was that for 5-6 years.

I found that I really liked to play. I didn't pick up any girls but that was ok too. I played the shit out of that cheap ass Epiphone for several years. The neck got loose and had a big bow in it, but I kept right on with it. I finally acquired a newer box this way.........

I was working a construction job in Iowa and was in the hotel bar getting good and drunk one night with the foreman and his beautiful wife Alice. In walks this big dude playing a nice guitar, rather poorly. He looked kinda like Hank Williams Jr, but had even less talent. He said, "Call me Otis". So we did. We sat there awhile and proceeded to get more drunk and finally went up to Otis' room to burn some rope I happened to have with me.

Like I said, Otis was a big fella. But Otis was a lightweight. John, the foreman, and I were pretty close to Olympic class drinkers at that time. Otis was not up to the task of trying to keep up with us. That would've been ok, but the more he drank, the more he kept trying to hit on Alice. Remember Alice?

Bad move.

John told Otis to keep his hands to himself ......... Twice. Once more than most guys would've and I thought that was pretty nice. Twice wasn't good enough though. Otis Put his hand on Alices' leg again and John quietly got up and excused himself. I didn't know what he had in mind, but I knew it wasn't gonna be good for ol' Otis.

I think subconsciously, Otis must have known it too. His lack of beer drinking KungFu, coupled with the rope we'd burned, made his belly decide that it was a good time to do a crash evacuation maneuver of all contaminants. He bolted to the bathroom and started puking his guts out. Alice and I started getting ourselves ready to go when John came back.

With a tire iron.

And hostile intent.

John was NOT a fella to get riled up. He had every intention of beating Otis to a friggin' pulp and only Otis' lightweight constitution had saved him. With some difficulty, Alice and I kept him from beating in the door to get at Otis and killing him. To this day I believe we saved the life of that dumbass.

John was in a cold fury and started looking all around for something to vent on. And saw that nice guitar sitting against the wall. Up came the tire iron........ and I snatched it right out of his hand from behind. And it was a good thing I had it too. He whipped around andlooked at me and flat scared the shit out of me. But I told him not to smash up a perfectly good guitar just because it's owner was an asshole. He snatched that guitar up and was getting ready to smash it into the wall when Alice said she wanted it. Alice didn't have any desire to own a guitar, but she was smart enough to know that a guitar smashing spree at 2 o'clock in the morning would just about guarantee us all going to jail.

John handed it to her and that was that. We all left to the sound of Otis blowing chunks in the crapper.

As we split up at our rooms, Alice handed me the guitar and said, "Here, I don't want this piece of shit. You take it."

I've had it ever since. The statute of limitations for that crime ran out about 1984, so I guess I can tell the story now. It's been a good friend and companion through many adventures. But it's never been as good a friend to me as it was to Otis.

It saved his life.

Think You're a Bad Ass ..................?

Check this shit out.
http://www.redbulllastmanstanding.com/

You may remember Dr. J and Mr T from my posts in October, when we took our little trip. Mr T recorded this "Gnarly" race the other day and we all got together at his place and watched it earlier tonight. Totally cool. Speed channel is gonna rebroadcast it Jan. 6 (2 am) and Jan. 8 (6 pm).

Watch it. You don't have to be a big off road motorcycle fan to appreciate what's involved in a competition like this. God awful terrain.

To give you an idea of how tough this course is, only 14 guys finished out of 87 entrants. All the riders were invited. Top people and champs of ISDT, etc.

Really fun and I recommend it. And you know you're Crazy Uncle would not steer you wrong, children.

Damn, It's Dark AND Cold. So Far the Family is Safe........

I get weird this time of year. That lack of sunshine, coupled with the schedule I work, makes me a wee bit crankier than normal. I haven't killed anyone ..... yet.

But it's going to start getting a bit more light in a couple of days. According to my weather page, the length of visible light today was 10hrs 26 mins. Tomorrow is gonna be 6 mins less.

BUT, things should start to pick up after that. Damn glad of that. I feel like I need to get the grow lights out I use for starting garden seeds and parking my ass under them. I get this way every year. I can see why guys get cabin fever.

I can't figure out what the messages on the mirror mean though. REDRUM?

Well, I need to go sharpen the Axe. Never know when I'll need to chop some wood. Later.

Maybe I can Ride My Bike............

Looks like the weather may be warming up a little towards the end of the week. High 30's or low 40's by Friday. Great. I need to get the big blue Kawasaki out for a spin.

I heard her whispering bad things to me the other day while I was out in the garage.

It just occured to me that the title of this post can be sung to the Beatles tune "Drive my car". OK, gratuitous Beatle references aside, a nice ride would do wonders for my mental hygine.

No more Worries About Going Undefeated in Indy.....

"San Diego hands the Colts their Asses yesterday while administering a good old fashioned Ass Whuppin'. Nostalgic Miami fans breath sigh of relief."

The Patriots were watching that game and have ideas of doing the same thing in a few weeks. Developing, as Drudge says.

Sometimes I Need a Little Help........

My Nerdiness is boundless. I couldn't figure out why the info on the left kept sinking down the page. Hey, don't laugh. When I first started college the computers for registration filled a huge room. Big tape reels going, climate controlled environment, big deal.

I still don't know squat about them. Fortunately, SwampBoy came by and was kind enough to clue me in on how to fix it.

Big thanks to him for that and he's been added to the sidebar links (which are back up top).

All 2 or 3 of you who read this crap should have a look at his blog. Very interesting and N'Lins based. I've had a bit of a change in my opinion about the post Katrina situation since looking over his site.

OK, Thanks again SwampBoy!! Gotta go get to work and save lives in the ER now! Later.

Here's a link: http://www.dryer8mysock.blogspot.com/

Maybe I'll figure out how to condense my links in a neat and orderly manner next!

Quote of The Day............

From Lee at Right thinking on the Left Coast -

"If conservatives want to abolish abortion in this country, all they have to do is figure out how to get a fetus to brutally slaughter four people and then write children’s books about it."

That about says it all.
http://blisteringcheese.com/index.php/trackback/11150/

So Long Tookie.........


Calif. killer turned peacemaker Williams executedTue Dec 13, 2005 3:41 AM ET
By Adam Tanner
SAN QUENTIN, California (Reuters) - California prison officials executed Stanley Tookie Williams, 51, the ex-leader of the Crips gang who brutally killed four people in 1979, early on Tuesday after top courts and Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger rejected final appeals to spare his life.
The unofficial time of death was 12:35 a.m. PST Tuesday

OK. Can we get on with something else on the news coverage now?

More Weird Christmas Stuff...........



















Stolen from www.fark.com

All That's Missing is the Red Nose.........



















This is just sick enough to make me smile!

That's Right, None of That "Flying Raindeer" Crap.......















Wouldn't be riding that around here today. We got 4-5 inches of snow yesterday and it's cooooold!

Strange Message in the Mail Today..........

I'm thinking there must be some mistake here. Here's the message -

I will seek and find you.

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.



All my love, *The Flu*

Yeah, I knew there had to be a catch. Get a Flu Shot.

Operation Phone Home .........

Here's another good thing You, Me or We can do to help out our troops.

The USO is requesting our help for phone cards. If you can donate a few bucks for a Trooper to call home during the Christmas go here:

http://www.uso.org/pubs/8_20_2733.cfm

Phone, mail or use the easy online donation page. The USO is another great organization. It's TAX DEDUCTIBLE TOO! How many of your presents are you gonna be able to say that about!

I'm in already. How about you?

Something You Can Do ........

Here's a great organization that really does support the troops. Our family participates and I would ask that you do too.
I should have had this place on the sidebar before. My bad. I'll fix that.

Check them out here: http://www.soldiersangels.org/heroes/index.php

64 Years Ago Today ..........




















Let us not forget those who gave all. Thank a Veteran today for his or her service.

Something For the Troops............
























There. Don't you feel better now? I do.

See, I'm not angry anymore.
Yeah, I didn't mention the "Propaganda complaint" Bullshit in the news recently. Just think how Ted Kennedy or Nancy Pelosi would react to this shit?

See, I'm even laughing now.

Stolen from: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=78&p=2

Howard Dean "Supporting Our Troops" Again..........

I've been avoiding this topic for quite awhile now. The letter below just set me off I guess. So, if you're the sensitive type, better quit now.

Hey, I warned ya!
Link: http://www.woai.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=C36A87B9-63A0-4CDE-AA91-B41571AFD3AF

Dean: US Won't Win in Iraq
LAST UPDATE: 12/5/2005 6:26:32 PMPosted By: Jim Forsyth

(SAN ANTONIO) -- Saying the "idea that we're going to win the war in Iraq is an idea which is just plain wrong," Democratic National Chairman Howard Dean predicted today that the Democratic Party will come together on a proposal to withdraw National Guard and Reserve troops immediately, and all US forces within two years.

Nice job supporting the troops Howard. You Asshole. Way to build morale.......... Amongst the Terrorists.

OK. Thats it for now. I'm still pissed tho'. I have friends over there who would appreciate a true and accurate accounting of what's happening. A little support wouldn't hurt. I'm beginning to hate.

That's not good.

" Homecoming" the Movie ..........

OK, I was already Pissed off today.

Dennis Lim of the Village Voice
Gives a full body tongue washing
review of Director, Joe Dante's
new movie, "homecoming".

A Horror movie, as Mr Lim says -


"In an election year, dead veterans of the current conflict crawl out of their graves and stagger single-mindedly to voting booths so they can eject the president who sent them to fight a war sold on "horseshit and elbow grease."

Director Joe Dante puts it this way - "This is a horror story because most of the characters are Republicans,"

Sorry Joe, this is a horror film because we're not as familiar with people coming back from the dead to vote for Democrats as you guys are.

If you have the stomach, you can read the review here:
http://www.villagevoice.com/film/0548,lim,70455,20.html

Remind me again why it is that they get all pissy when someone "Questions their Patriotism?"

Oh yeah, they "Support the Troops". Sorry, I forgot for a minute there.

So Wrong. In So Many Ways .........

Yeah, this is a no shit, for real letter sent to a recovering Soldier at Walter Reed Med Center.

You can read the story here : http://twobabesandabrain.typepad.com/

This kinda shit makes me think bad things. Who taught this Kid to hate like that?

I could go on and on about this. But I won't, because it will probably raise my blood pressure to dangerously high levels.

Bush Derangement Syndrome has now become a cross generation infection. I feel sorry for the kid and disgust for the DNA donors.

I Scare Myself Sometimes ...............

I probably shouldn't be allowed to work some nights. Last night was one of those "Zombies from Hell" nights in the ER.

Most nights you get drug seeking Zombies, belligerent bastards and ignorant oxygen thieves, taking up space in the ER from people who really need to be there. Nothing unusual about that.

Sometimes, something ratchets up what I call, "The weirdness factor", to incredible levels. It's like being in the audience at a Jerry Springer Show taping.

Let me give you a little run down of the types of folks I was dealing with.

The EMS scanner dispatches an ambulance to a residence for a 53 year old woman who had fallen in the shower. At 8 o'clock in the morning. And injured her finger. JUST her finger. Nothing else. 12 hours ago. Of course EMS are forbidden to tell these Zombies, to go pound sand, so they bring her in and drop her with me. I have them take her straight to the waiting room up front for some "fluorescent Light Therapy". This is therapeutic for me anyways.
After 45 minutes or so of light therapy, I Triage her and chew her a new one about abusing the EMS services. It's like talking to a 185 lb Chia Pet with home made tattoos. She gets her rings cut off, Xray and a splint on her broken finger - And then asks me to call the ambulance to take her home.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told her absolutely not and went thru my whole schpeil about abusing the EMS system again, Yada,Yada, Yada. She's pissed now and bitching about how is she gonna get home. A refrain from telling her what I'm really thinking, but send her out and tell her to call a cab from the waiting room. She screams at me and tells me to perform a sex act I'm sure I'm not limber enough to pull off.

It went down hill from there.

Two young females, sisters I think, come in demanding immediate attention because one of them has a kidney stone and is dying. That would be the one chewing gum and text messaging while I'm trying to Triage her. Ummmm, pardon me if I don't get to excited about the possibility of you dying right in front of me here. I got her into a room and gave her a cup to pee in just so I wouldn't have to look at them. Doc orders some tests and a scan for her alledged stone. 48 minutes after walking in the door they are complaining about how long things are taking and "We never wait this long in XXXville Hospital". I asked them if they thought they were in the drive thru at McDonald's. They failed to see the genius of my humor. Then implored me to perform the same impossible sex act as the first Zombie and left.

I'm on a roll!! My customer service ratings are starting to look like Ted Kennedy's man tits.

Now all this crap is going on while we are trying to care for actual sick people too. A drug seeker with a "Migraine" is thrashing around out front scaring the registration girls, so I Triage her to get her out of their view. I've got a good memory for those people and have seen her before. I didn't get to the Doc and he ordered a big slug of narcotics for her and these were administered by the other nurse. Oh well. Upon discharge time, I asked her where the driver she'd told me she'd had was at. She started giving me some BS and I told her she had to have a driver or I was gonna make her sit there for at least 4 more hours. She got on the phone then and told me her sister was coming to pick her up. Great. Let me know when she gets here. I know she's gonna bolt and drive off all jacked up on Narcs and I'm pissed. I pulled her into the room and called her on her BS. She denies driving herself in and continues with the whole, "My sister is coming, but she can't come in 'cause of her kids are with her in the car. I'll wait outside the front door for her." Shit. I don't have time for this BS. I told her she was lying and I knew it and that I was gonna call the cops if she drove off. Thinking ahead, I advised her not to come back too. She slid out as soon as my back was turned and drove off on a motorscooter. She didn't tell me to do that impossible sex thing tho' and hopefully, she won't be back for awhile.

While I'm in the middle of starting an IV, Some AssMonkey starts screaming out in the hall. No, not yelling, really screaming. Seems his young girlfriend has had a bellyache for 30 minutes and having to wait 12 minutes in the Triage area was to much for him. I finish up taping my IV and hang the fluids and go see what's up. The unit clerk has called the Cops already. Bless her. This guys about 20 - 22 and totally out of control. Screaming at the top of his lungs that his girl is gonna die and not using the nicest language. Scares the hell out of all the patients and families. It should have scared me but for some reason it didn't. I was calm and tried to de-escalate him, but it wasn't working to well. I think he was fixin to pound my ass when the cops showed up. I just told them to get him out of there so I could see what was bothering his girl. He just couldn't get himself under control and ended up starting some crap with the cop and earned himself a night in jail.

This was only some of what I had to see last night. All while trying to care for real sick people. It's that way in every ER in America. It's difficult to do a good job for those who really need it with all this other crap going on. We try. We really do. Keep this little story in mind when you have to wait for test results and such. There's always these distractions that keep us from doing the job properly.

It's December.

May as Well Start
With the
Christmas Stuff......

Stolen, like always, from
www.rschultz.blogspot.com

I don't know where he gets
all this stuff. But I'm glad he does.

The 5 Stages of Sex..........


The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon; you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime. Including the kitchen.

The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you've got to do it in the bedroom.

The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Screw you!"

There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the court.

He's Back..........

Rob, AKA, Acidman of www.gutrumbles.com is back in the saddle after his trip to Sobriety School. I can appreciate that and wish him the best. He's one of the Big Dawgs in the Blog world. Glad he's home and doing well. The work has just begun, Rob. But it gets easier.

Strange Things in the Mail Today ............

Winter isn't even totally on us yet and I got 3 Seed Catalogs today. Weird. I never used to to get Garden stuff till after New Years.

You don't think they're sending these out so you can make Christmas orders do you?

"Oh Honey, just what I always wanted. German Johnson pink Tomato seeds!"

Naw, I'm not seeing that. You would have to be a hella-va-lot braver than me to try passing off anything from a Seed Catalog as a Christmas gift.

Death wish, Fellas. Don't even try it.

Same goes for buying Her anything from the Craftsman Tool Catalog. Resist the urge to do stupid.

After 27 years with the same woman, buying her a Sewing machine is ok. But ONLY, if that's what she asked for. No tools or appliances without a direct request.

Enough of that, I'm gonna go start getting an order together!

True Emergency Room Dialog.......

I was working Triage the other night when a young woman signed in and stated her complaint as "My Breasticles hurt".

No, Really.

Being the total professional I am ............ I immediately burst out laughing.

"Breasticle Pain". This is what makes my job so rewarding.

OK, This is Probably Geeky But.....

I got a real surprise tonight finding out - I've been Blogrolled! And it was by someone who is not even related to me!

Gymi - http://gymisplace.blogspot.com/ left a comment to my latest Cell Phone idea the other day. I followed it back to his Blog and found I'd been added to his Blogroll. Cool.

He's got a neat looking place there and if you're into motorcycles and such, you'd be well advised to check it out. He actually knows about things mechanical and such.

OK, like I said, this is probably not a big deal to anyone but me. But hey, it's a first.

The Beat Goes On. Colts Go to 11-0..........

That was an extremely ugly game. The Colts should have lost it just for having so many stupid personal fouls. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb. Hopefully, the Chowderheads have that crap out of their systems now.

Da' Bears are still rolling along on their 7 game win streak.

My Dream SuperBowl. Bears and Colts. Won't happen, but a Boy can dream, right?

Intergalactic War?

Is there anything George W. Bush CAN"T do?

Not according to this Moonbat.

Yahoo News - http://news.yahoo.com/s/prweb/20051124/bs_prweb/prweb314382_1

Former Canadian Minister Of Defence Asks Canadian Parliament Asked To Hold Hearings On Relations With Alien "Et" Civilizations.

(PRWEB) - OTTAWA, CANADA (PRWEB) November 24, 2005 -- A former Canadian Minister of Defence and Deputy Prime Minister under Pierre Trudeau has joined forces with three Non-governmental organizations to ask the Parliament of Canada to hold public hearings on Exopolitics -- relations with "ETs."

By "ETs," Mr. Hellyer and these organizations mean ethical, advanced extraterrestrial civilizations that may now be visiting Earth.

OK, Maybe it's not something I'm particularly concerned about.

But I'm really not to worried about this becoming a major problem anytime soon.

Mr. Hellyer went on to say, "I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something."

Obviously, this Doofus, and former member of the Canadian Government, feels differently. OK, I can accept the fact that Our priorities aren't in line.

But why wasn't I surprised when He started this shit?

Hellyer warned, "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning. He stated, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide." (Emphasis mine)

It's just not good enough to blame Bush for everything that's wrong on this Friggin' Planet. NO. Oh Hell No, this G**Damn Moonbat wants to start in with the whole Damn Galaxy.

Mr Hellyer goes on to blame President Bush "For the lack of acceptance among humans, for the Gay Alien Lifestyle" - OK. I made that part up.

But Shit, That's no weirder than being worried about our President starting an "Intergalactic War". This is just Batshit Crazy. Eh?

Here's my favorite part -

"Hellyer's speech ended with a standing ovation"

What kind of crazy Bastards were in that audience? OH, the kind who would elect a Moonbat like Hellyer.

I'm needing to get to bed as I've been working all night. So if this sounds sorta jumbled...... it probably is.

More Cell Phone Ideas..........

OK, It's been awhile since I unloaded on drivers who talk on the phone when they should be just driving. Now, this doesn't mean I haven't had any experiences avoiding these AssMonkeys lately.

Far from it.

It's getting harder and harder to drive anywhere without having to dodge some Doofus or Doofette, chattering on the phone when they should be focusing their limited intellectual prowess on ............... Friggin' Driving!

The only good thing about the cold weather setting in around here is that I'm not likely to be run over and killed on the motorcycle by some Chattering Nitwit for the next 3 months or so. I only have to dodge them in the car for now.

But I have an idea.

All cell phones should be equipped with a small chunk of C-4 embedded in them.
All vehicles should have a "You're being an Asshole" button mounted in an easily accessed point on the dash.

Whenever you're out on the publik highways and byways and some Cellphone Cretin is menacing your navigation, you push the button. BOOM!!! Problem solved.

You might think about being in front of them when you push the button though. Aww Shit. If you're stupid enough to push the button while you're behind them ....... You probably should for the rest of us.

Ok, being the good guy that I am, One instance of bad behavior is not enough to deploy the C-4 in a proper fashion. Make it a cumulative thing. Let's say ....... 10 or 20 hits on the counter. Then .................. BOOM!!

That still too harsh for you? How about this, after a certain number of hits on the counter, a nice electrical charge is dumped into your ear. OUCH!!

Hey, it works in dog training.

I'm sure piercings would add to the whole effect. And probably look cool at night. A couple of good jolts (escalating in intensity each time) should alert 'em to the fact that they may be getting close to ........ BOOM!!

Yeah, I know it's harsh. And having young Brittany's head blown off her shoulders while she's blabbering about some "Totally, hot guy who just passed me", may be traumatic to the fragile Psychological health of whatever Airhead she happens to be sharing this important info with. Tuff Shit.

"But what about the danger involved to other drivers when Brittany's headless corpse is left driving her Pontiac Sunfire in heavy traffic" You ask? - Darwin rules.

Granted, it would be a little messy at first. And yes, a few Dumbass Soccer Moms, (Headless, Dumbass, Soccer Moms BTW) would end up taking the little ones strapped in the back for a little unexpected ride.

"What about the children?" Hey, if their Mother was stupid enough to collect enough hits on the "Talk to Darwin line" of the cellphone ........... You don't that DNA in the genepool anyway.

"Gosh, Unk. That's awfully harsh of you. Endangering the lives of innocents like that?"

Excuse the shit out of me, but driving around with a friggin' phone stuck on your ear and your head up your ass is "Endangering the lives of innocents" now.

This idea, obviously in the developmental stages, came to me the other day while driving to work. Some Dickhead was Text Messaging while driving in bumper to bumper traffic. Total moron. I couldn't get far enough away from him fast enough.

Phones could be setup to differentiate between text messaging and regular cell use too. Text messaging would count double.

I NEVER carry a firearm with me because of people like that. I'd be afraid I'd use it on some Dickhead who desparately needs it.

Even though it would be a public service to remove these oxygen thieves from the planet ..... Some asshole would complain about it.

Happy Thanksgiving from Yer Crazy Uncle....

Unk wishes each and both of you who read this crap a Happy Thanksgiving!

We here at the Official Crazy Uncle Command and Control Bunker will be giving thanks with whoever it is that shows up. I'm going to bed in a few after a long one in the ER. (Actually saved someone last night!)

Our Traditional "Alice's Restaurant" theme will be played this afternoon.

Enjoy.

Putting those Electrons Where They Will do the Most Good....

Mike, at www.Coldfury.com , reports on a Yahoo news story.

Police Hit Man in Genitals With Taser
Tue Nov 22, 5:54 PM ET
Police accidentally hit a naked man in the genitals with a Taser after he was caught breaking windows and asking women to touch him, authorities said.

Jeremy J. Miljour, 26, tried to run away when sheriff's deputies approached so one of them shot their Taser, said Cpl. Matt Chitwood. But one of the gun's prongs accidentally hit Miljour's genitals and got stuck, Chitwood said.

"The Taser is relatively accurate, but when someone is moving like that, it doesn't matter if you have a Taser, or a pistol. (Officers) can't aim," Chitwood said.

Miljour was treated at a hospital before being taken to the Lee County jail. He was charged with indecent exposure, resisting an officer and criminal damage.

Yes, the Taser is relatively accurate . That's why I wonder, given the nature of the crime, how much of an accident it was that the perp caught one in the Nards?
Hey, I'm not complaining here. Seems like a case of well deserved justice. I've seen a guy Tasered before, looks like it hurts.

I wondered how Officer Chitwood kept a straight face about the whole incedent while talking to the reporters? I never would have been able to do it.

Update: On the way to work last night I saw something that may explain part of this on top of a very old large barn I pass almost every day.

A LIGHTNING ROD!

Ya know they put those things up there for a reason. I don't know, but just maybe..........

Mean Green on a Beemer........

This is for the COG folks!
I had told my wife only recently I was going to paint the old BSA in these colors. Damn, late again. Nice job on it tho'.

Great Moments in Medicine............

I recently picked a new Doctor.
After Two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well for my age".
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 90?"
He asked, "Well, do you smoke cigars or drink a lot of wine?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and Barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my other Doctor said that red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or fishing?"
No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, ride fast bikes, or have a lot of sex?"
"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."



He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit if you live to be 90?"


Stolen from Classic Bike.net

Not much to add here..........

Well, a link would be good. http://rschultz.blogspot.com/

Never an end to the interesting stuff over there.

Guitar Great Link Wray Dead at 76.......

What? You don't know who Link Wray was?

Unfortunately, lots of folks didn't. Many folks had heard some of his songs used in the movies, but weren't aware of who it was. He was a pioneer who had a unique style and sound. Never got the widespread credit he deserved.

Saw this reported over at ColdFury.com (link on sidebar) Mike has a great pic of him playing w/ Link and a really good Mp3 of the occasion. Worth a listen. Mikes an ass kicker on guitar.

Needless to say, May He Rest in Peace.

Here's the AP Report -

Guitarist Link Wray Dies at 76

COPENHAGEN, Denmark - Guitar master Link Wray, the father of the power chord in rock 'n' roll who inspired such legends as Bruce Springsteen, David Bowie, and Pete Townshend has died. He was 76.
Wray died Nov. 5 at his home in Copenhagen, his wife and son said on his Web site. No cause of death was given, but his family said his heart was "getting tired." He was buried Friday after a service at Copenhagen's Christian Church.
"While playing his guitar he often told the audience, 'God is playing my guitar, I am with God when I play,'" his wife, Olive, and son, Oliver Christian, wrote. "We saw you go with God, you were smiling."
Wray, who played in his trademark leather jacket, developed a style considered the blueprint for heavy metal and punk music. He is best known for his 1958 instrumental "Rumble," 1959 "Rawhide" and 1963 "Jack the Ripper." His music has been featured in movies including "Pulp Fiction," "Independence Day" and "Desperado."
Wray, who was born in North Carolina and is three-quarters Shawnee Indian, is said to have inspired many other rock musicians, including Townshend of the Who, Springsteen, Bowie, Bob Dylan and Steve Van Zandt. All have been quoted as saying that Wray and "Rumble" inspired them to become musicians.
"He is the king; if it hadn't been for Link Wray and 'Rumble,' I would have never picked up a guitar,'" Townshend wrote on one of Wray's albums. Neil Young once said: "If I could go back in time and see any band, it would be Link Wray and the Raymen."
The power chord — a thundering sound created by playing fifths (two notes five notes apart, often with the lower note doubled an octave above) — became a favorite among rock players. Wray claimed because he was too slow to be a whiz on the guitar, he had to invent sounds.
When recording "Rumble," he created the fuzz tone by punching holes in his amplifiers to produce a dark, grumbling sound. It took off instantly, but it was banned by some deejays in big cities for seeming to suggest teen violence.
"I was looking for something that Chet Atkins wasn't doing, that all the jazz kings wasn't doing, that all the country pickers wasn't doing. I was looking for my own sound," Wray told The Associated Press in 2002.
He was born Frederick Lincoln Wray Jr. in 1929 in Dunn, N.C. His two brothers, Vernon and Doug, were also musicians. The three became a country hit as "Lucky Wray and the Palomino Ranch Hands." Later, after "Rumble," they became "Link Wray and the Raymen," or Wraymen, as it was sometimes spelled. Later, the brothers' relationship soured after a dispute about the rights to "Rumble."
In 1978, he moved to Denmark and married Olive Julie Povlsen. They raised their son in a three-story house on an island where Hans Christian Andersen once lived.
Though he went out of style in the '60s, he was rediscovered by later generations. He toured the United States and Canada since the mid-1990s, playing 40 shows this year. In 2002, Guitar World magazine elected Wray one of the 100 greatest guitarists of all time.
___
On the Net:
http://www.linkwraylegend.com/

AP link -

Yer Crazy Uncle goes to the Movies........

The lovely and talented Queen Buffness came home from work sooner than expected and enticed Unk to slip out of the official "Crazy Uncle Command and Control Bunker" long enough to go see "Walk the Line" tonight.

Much better than I expected. I was prepared to be disappointed. I wasn't. You won't be either.

The focus of the story was a bit more on Johnny and Junes relationship than I was expecting. It is Hollywood, so I should've been ready for that. DUH.

Surprised me how well the music came out. Not like they were asking much of the guy. "We're making a movie about Johnny Cash. Oh yeah, you gotta sing." No pressure here.

Nope, 2 thumbs up for this one.

P. J. O'Rouke Quote for a Friday Night.......

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.

Every BritBike Owner Needs Some of THIS in the Garage.....

What would we do without Ebay?

Next Time You Have to Wait at the Doctors Office Remember, It Could be Worse .....

"Ants eat coma patient's eye" Oh Yeah, That's definately worse than having to wait awhile and read out of date People Magazines.

Read the story Here:
http://www.news24.com/News24/World/News/0,,2-10-1462_1834749,00.html

Hat Tip to ACE (Link on the sidebar)

Maybe Something along These Lines..........

Saw this picture over at BritBike.com. Yep, that's right in line with what I have in mind. It's '72 OIF Triumph. Other than the engine, same bike I have. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Get out that wallet, Boy!

You Have to
be Crazy.............









To purchase and keep up one of these BritBikes. I've come to the startling realization that maintaining one of these bikes is a commitment equal to .......... oh, maintaining a fleet of Nuclear missile Subs.

Just because you got a "Good Deal" on a bike doesn't mean it's not gonna take TONS of money and time to get it up to speed and staying up to speed.

Cost over runs. I used to think that term only applied to Government procurement and military R&D programs. Hahahahahaha!

Yep, you have to have a special thing going on to do this. To understand it, you need to ride them.
My old Bezeer is a pretty cool machine. It has a special sound. It vibrates. Not in a bad way. Sorta like, you can feel it's pulse beating.

It's not high tech. A 1971 model utilizing the best of 1940's technology. Again, this isn't a bad thing. It's definitely got character and a style all of it's own.

It is an absolute blast to ride. It handles extremely well. Even tho' the the forks need seals and leak like a sieve. Put some oil in 'em and you can feel the POTENTIAL for what will be.

I've got new fork seals and progressive springs sitting out in the garage now. Along with a bunch of other shit too. We'll get there.

It's not a sportbike, like say a ............ GSXR. Nope. But it's got cool that a GSXR or an R1 probably won't have in 35 years either.

People who don't know anything about bikes, or don't care about bikes, stop and check out old Brits. Characters. Must be that sound. Not the loud, annoying, straight pipe sound of a Harley either. Just cool.

I haven't had this bike all that long. No, the bitch won't start right now either. Not a problem. I'm getting my "Garage KungFu" together to start on the rehab process that this thing needs. And hasn't gotten yet.

I'm not sure exactly where this project is gonna lead. I'm not real concerned with having a total. better than new restoration bike. It's almost stock - I think.

It needs a lot of TLC. Like I said, it's not trashed out. It's a very good basic bike. But it needs a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of small, important care. Then I have to decide how involved I'm gonna get in cosmetics. You can go nuts doing this. One step at a time for now. Let's get it running well and mechanically sound first.

I'm not much of a mechanic. I'm a parts changer. Those of you who are mechanics will understand what I mean by that. So I've enlisted the help of a fellow who IS a mechanic to help me out with sorting it out. He's a Brit too! That makes my KungFu Karma warm and fuzzy.

Yes. You do have to be crazy. But, it works for me. I'm working OT now to get a project grubstake going. I'll be doing that all Winter probably. Knowing how these things go once you get started.

OK, gotta go see how the auction on Ebay is going for some spares I want.

Ok, This One Made Me Laugh Too!

Stolen from Denny at www.grouchyoldcripple.com .

OK, Since I'm on an Aussie Thing......

Stolen from curmudgeonly and Skeptical on the links bar over there ->

Yeah, I thought this was funny. No, I never know why.

I found this over on the joke page at www.classicbike.net Most of the folks there are not Yanks, but Aussie, Kiwi and Brits. Very knowledgeable about old bikes and really funny too - when I can understand the slang.

It's kinda like the same language .... but not quite.