Blogs Sport Wallpaper

In case you're looking for a feel-good gift to give to your fellow trail runner, Seattle-based photographer and ultrarunner Glenn Tachiyama put together a trail running calendar that looks great. It includes all the big ultras on the calendar, and some of Glenn's fabulous photo work. Last year, Glenn (and friends) raised $3,600 for the Washington Trails Association thanks to the popularity of the calendar.



You can view the photos and purchase the calendar here on Zombierunner.com.

Cheers, SD

I Feel Better Now ......................

Retired Geezer, over at Innocent Bystanders posted a link to a very entertaining article - "The Mosquito: EnvironmentalismÂ’s Weapon of Mass Destruction" by a Mr. Eric Englund.

"Environmentalists want you dead; and the sooner the better. Did that get your attention? I certainly hope so. For it is the environmental movementÂ’s objective to radically reduce the human population. As mankind seeks to extend the division of labor, to further explore for and utilize natural resources, to develop new life-improving technologies, and to enhance our quality of life, environmentalists view humanity as nothing more than a voracious parasite raping, pillaging, and sucking the life out of Mother Earth."

It gets better when he starts quoting these Rat Bastards.... No, I'm not gonna spoil it. You'll have to go read it for yourself. But you can bet, there's a quote from that SOB, Paul Ehrlich. That prick Ehrlich, has been consistentlyly wrong on every single thing he's ever said about the environment. He's got an unbroken record of BS. Of course, he's a friggin' hero to the Green crowd.

Environmentalists are like watermelons. Green on the outside. Red on the inside.

I feel better now because People are finally starting to speak up about this BS.

I need to add the Innocent Bystanders to the links over there on the sidebar. I'll have to do that. When I get some more motivation. Lazy Bastard that I am. That's a pretty fun bunch.

Last Saturday, I joined 240 ultrarunners for the 24th running of the Quad Dipsea in Mill Valley, CA. This double out-and-back of the famed Dipsea trail is a challenging 28-miler full of steps, hills, and breathtaking views of the Pacific. Although it is “short” for an ultra, it makes up for it with almost 10,000 feet of vertical. The race was a perfect conclusion to the Thanksgiving weekend – not only could I work off my turkey and stuffing from the previous two days, but I could run with friends and appreciate some of Mother Nature’s finest handywork.

The starting area was a brisk 38 degrees at 7:30 am, as the sun futilely tried to sneak through the towering redwoods of Old Mill Park. But Race Director John Medinger let us know that beyond the redwood canopy (which would we reach in about 230 stair steps) was a crystal clear day, so no need to pack too much. I selected a long sleeve shirt, wool gloves, and a visor, then packed the rest in a drop bag just in case. I fired up my new toy (yes, ANOTHER new toy…I can’t help myself), the Garmin Forerunner 305 GPS watch, and made my way to the starting line.

The crowd at the start was one of the most diverse I had ever seen at an ultra. Mill Valley locals were everywhere, sharing stories of Darrell Schlee, for whom this race was dedicated (he had done 17 Quad Dipseas before passing from cancer in October, 2006). There were teenagers, Ironman triathletes, hikers, road runners, and more. A few of them were doing the Dipsea trifecta – the legendary Dipsea (one way), the Double Dipsea (out and back), and the Quad. Many elite runners were also present, including a half dozen racers from the Vasque Ultra Team, former winners Roy Rivers and Kim Holak, 3-time Helen Klein 50m champ Michael Buchanan, Tahoe Ultra winner Sean Messiner, Fuel Belt Ultrarunner.net Champion Mark Tanaka, and 2:30-marathoner Jean Pommier. Pacific Coast Trail Run RD’s Wendell and Sarah were also here to run, as were The Zombies, the ever-smiling Catra Corbett, Rick Gaston, and more. Everyone was ready to hit the hills and have some fun, and most of them were concluding a long ultra season. I didn’t have enough time to wish everyone luck, but I knew I would see them all out there.


As the gun went off, the Vasque Team jumped up front and set the pace up the stairs. There isn’t much of a warm up on this course – you go about 200 feet before you climb, climb, climb up the insanely small and odd-shaped Dipsea stairs. We all breathed a sigh of relief when the front runners set a moderate pace, allowing everyone to get on the stairs without injury. The stairs were interspersed with sections of road that allowed faster people to get around when needed. Locals with coffee cups and bathrobes cheered us on as they took out the trash and got the paper. I guess when you live on the Dipsea Trail, you get used to races in your backyard!


We peaked the first hill around mile 2, navigated a few hundred yards of single track, then spread out on a road section to sprint down. The sky was clear, and I saw the front runners about ¼ mile ahead. Roy Rivers was up front showing everyone why he is the master of the Dipsea (even at age 49), effortlessly leaping off the road onto stairs like a gazelle at full speed. The sun warmed the few parts left of me that hadn’t been warmed by the steep stairs, and I was feeling great. Judging by the ear-to-ear smiles around me, I wasn’t the only one.

As we started up Cardiac Hill, I slowed down to a fast walk. I remembered from the Double Dipsea that this hill goes on for a while, plus I wanted to suck in the Narnia-like lush forest. I paced with Jamie Berns, who was holding second place for the Women's division, as we hopped and skipped up the roots and rocks. 55-year old Jamie was running with determination and setting a fast pace. No surprise - women have been running fast on this course since 1915, long before women competed in the Olympics. Jamie dropped me with her steady pace as soon as we broke out of the forest, inspiring me to pick up the pace and run the remaining way to Cardiac Hill.


The Cardiac Hill aid station was a party in progress, as volunteers, friends, and family members cheered on runners while enjoying the sunny day. I refilled my water bottle, ate a PB&J square, and dropped my gloves. The Garmin Forerunner 305 was tracking well so far, which was a pleasant surprise. I had received the Forerunner 201 as a holiday gift last year, and had so much trouble with it tracking a GPS signal in the trees and hills, that I was lucky to get one mile recorded on a 15 mile run. Peter Lubbers was right – this new unit with a new chip is much better. I sprinted down a section of trail to see how fast I could get the pace monitor up (4:45 min/mile!), then got back to the nature.


Four miles in, the trail led us back into the woods. The stairs were narrow and slippery, which slowed down all but the Dipsea regulars (magically taking the stairs 2-3 at a time). Just after I crossed the bridge, the front pack was heading back. Jasper Helekas and Roy Rivers were leading, with Greg Nacco, Jean Pommier, and Michael Buchanan all within 20 seconds. Another four runners, including Sean Messiner, were within two minutes. Only one minute separated the women’s division as well, with Kim Holak and Jamie Berns trading off the lead well ahead of the pack. So far, a very close race.

I refilled at the turnaround at Stinson Beach and ate some m&m’s while drawing in the salty sea air (I wonder, does breathing salty air help keep my electrolytes in balance? ;-) ). I had done the first leg in 1:10. As I headed back up the hill, I paced with Chris Stephenson from Seattle, WA. He had just relocated to Seattle, WA, but had come down to “do the Quad” just like old times. Despite his worries that his training was suffering from a new job/city, he was doing great.


As we ran/walked up the steep steps on our first pass back, we got to see all the other runners pacing right behind us. I typically prefer point-to-point races, but I must say, it is very cool to see so many smiling faces on each passing. It sounds crazy, but a double out-and-back is even more fun than an out-and-back! I even got to give Kate Morejohn a hug, which gave me an energy boost to drop Chris and charge the hill. This section of stairs is the toughest on the course (I think), so I’ll take any boost I can get. Let’s not forget we have one more lap too!


I found my way up to Cardiac Hill again, and had another PB&J square with some flat Coke. The volunteers asked how my feet were holding up, and they were ready with tape just in case. I could see how this course could be a toe-masher for the unprepared, but my Injinji tsoks and Inov-8 RocLite 315’s love this terrain, so I was good to go. I sprinted down the hill in a Coke-fueled frenzy, catching a few runners along the way.

I saw the front-runners again as I was coming up the last hill to head down into Mill Valley (~mile 11.5). Roy Rivers had put about 30 seconds on Jasper Halekas (most likely on the stairs), and about 90 seconds on Michael Buchanan, Jean Pommier, and Greg Nacco. However, they all looked pretty fresh. I lost a few positions as I took the stairs slowly, but got to see the crab-like sidestepping that the locals were doing to get down the stairs. It’s a definitely a practiced skill that gives an advantage; I wonder if it’s enough for Roy to hold off the other elites?


I filled up again at the turnaround, had more m&m’s, and decided to continue with my existing attire. The temperature was a perfect 54 degrees, so as long as I kept moving I would be plenty warm. My Forerunner said I did the way back in 1:14. I headed back up the mountain of stairs, still having enough energy to take them two at a time.

I popped some Clif Shots at the bottom of Cardiac Hill and prepared to climb. This was the first point in the whole race where I couldn’t see anyone in front of me or behind me, but it didn’t last long. Two women came flying down the hill screaming “Bees! Bees!”, which instinctively triggered my sprint reflex. Alas, I wasn’t fast enough and one of them got me square on the back. These little devils have it out for me this year!

I did my best to run/walk the course the same way I had the first lap, and found myself at Cardiac Hill just 4 minutes slower than the first time, largely from walking the very last section. The volunteers had some tougher cases this time around, and every seat was full with runners. I took another shot of flat Coke and pranced down the trail, letting gravity pull me as much as possible. I was running alone again, but was bound to meet somebody soon. It turned out to be Redwood Trails RD Eric Gould, out taking pictures of runners and giving encouragement.

I saw the front-runners one last time, and the top five players remained close. Jasper Halekas had taken the lead from Roy Rivers, with Jean Pommier, Michael Buchanan, and Victor Ballesteros each running solo less than a minute behind. Jasper was going harder this time, and Roy was heads down to keep up. Michael Buchanan actually yawned as he went by me – I suspect this 5:45 50-mile runner hasn’t played his final cards yet! The women’s division continued to be a race of two, with Jamie Berns right on the tail of Kim Holak.


The wind picked up a bit as I made my way down to Stinson Beach one more time. Cross-town traffic on the stairs was heavier this time, and I lost a few minutes waiting for runners and hikers (then again, if I’m taking pictures I probably shouldn’t worry about a few minutes here and there). I hit the turnaround, finishing the section in 1:19, nine minutes slower than the first pass. Was that good? I had no idea, but I felt good. I ate one more PB&J square, and headed back up.


This time, there was not going to be any “two stairs at once”. Each step was methodical, burning up my hamstrings, yet still pushing my heart rate to the high 160’s. I guess this is where the rubber meets the trail, so to speak. I kept moving forward, focusing on breathing in as much oxygen-rich air as I could. I had to keep it to a fast walking pace until we broke out of trees at mile 23. One last stop at Cardiac Hill for flat Coke and Jelly Belly’s, and I could cruise the last two hills to the finish.


Similar to the first lap, I lost a few more positions as the stair-friendly locals whizzed by. But I finished in 5:10, good enough for 33rd. Jean Pommier caught me up on front pack racing as I polished off some chili and beer. Apparently Victor Ballesteros and Michael Buchanan kicked into overdrive after Cardiac Hill and flew by the leaders like they were standing still. Michael Buchanan held on to win in 4:14, with Ballesteros in 2nd (4:16), Roy Rivers in 3rd (4:19), and Jasper Helekas and Jean Pommier sprinting neck-and-neck down the stairs to finish 4th and 5th (4:20). In the Women’s division, Jamie Berns pulled ahead of Kim Holak on the final climb to take the win in 4:48, becoming the oldest overall Women champion ever to have won the Quad. Get this - it was Jamie's first ultra! We all shared stories of the race as we cheered the remaining finishers.


My thanks to John and the Tamalpais Runners for putting on a great race. Darrell Schlee most certainly would have been proud. I feel tremendous gratitude to all the RD’s, runners, and volunteers for a fabulous year of running, and can’t think of a better way to cap the season. Now I’ll head home and polish off those leftovers. ;-)


- SD

Lots of New Faces in 2006 TRM Trophy Series Results

Trail Runner Magazine (TRM) announced the winners of the 2006 TRM Trophy Series, the largest trail running series in the world. Once again, the women dominated the Ultra division, with Washington's Van Phan scoring an incredible 1462 points (500 more than 2nd place Tracy Thomas, and double the points of Nikki Kimball). Krissy Moehl placed 5th in this highly competitive group. Graham Cooper used his win at the Western States 100 to eke out a Series win for the men, with perennial ultra favorite Eric Grossman getting second.

In the Marathon-and-Under division, two runners from Tell City, Indiana battled all year for the top spot - Hugh Davis held on to win the competition, with Brian Beckort coming in second and winning his age group. Annette Van Balen won the Women's Division, heading a list of fresh new names as age group winners. The one exception - speed demon Tania Pacev, who chalks up her third age group TRM Series win.

It's unclear if TRM is giving away a trip to Italy like they did last year (the 2006 rules web page says "2005 rules" and indicates a Grand Prize). If so, Adam Blum of Los Gatos, CA raced 18 races in the Series and would win the package.

Result Completeness Still a Factor, But Getting Better

One of the quirky things about the TRM Series is that some races that are listed in the Series are not counted in the final tally. This is a unique issue among North American trail running series. TRM depends on Race Directors to send in result information with complete contact info for each runner (this is, after all, largely a marketing program for TRM), and sometimes it just doesn't happen. In the previous two years of the Series, uncounted races determined who made (or didn't make) the final podium for age group and overall winners.

This year, 14 of the ~170 races did not get counted. Although 8% of races not counting may sound like a lot, it is an improvement over the last two years, where uncounted races averaged ~12%. A quick check of the results of uncounted races indicate that this year the results would stand even if they had been counted (in fact, Van Phan would have another 400 points for her win at the Lost Soul Ultra in Canada). So congrats everyone!

Great job to all who competed this year. I hope you had a great time!

- SD

(official press release)

Off-Roaders Rage
Trail Runner announces Trophy Series Winners

NOVEMBER 10, 2006, CARBONDALE, COLORADO—The third annual Trail Runner Trophy Series, sponsored by LaSportiva and GoLite, included 107 races ranging from five kilometers to 100 miles, and 20,000 dirt-loving runners who talled points in their quest for trail-running greatness over seven months.

In the Ultramarathon category, which had 4222 competitors, women outscored the men, claiming the top seven positions in the overall standings. Van Phan, 35, of Maple Valley, Washington, participated in 14 races, earning 1462.2 points, far ahead of second-place winner Tracy Thomas, 45, of Champaign, Illinois, with 901.8 points. Third was Western Sates 100 Mile Endurance Run champion Nikki Kimball, 35, of Bozeman, Montana, with 772 points.

Only a dozen points separated the top three point-earners in the men’s Ultramarathon category. Graham Cooper, 36, of Oakland, California, came in first with 574 points, largely due to his win at the Western States 100 Mile Endurance Run. Second was last year’s ultra champion, Eric Grossman, 38, of Emory, Virginia, with 572 points, and third was 63-year-old Rainer Schulz of Roy, Washington, with 562 points.

In the Marathon and Shorter category, Hugh Davis, 42, from Tell City, Indiana, took the overall lead in May and held onto top spot all season, finishing with 518.5 points. Second overall was Brian Beckort, 33 years old, also of Tell City, Indiana, with 401.9 points. Adam Blum, 42, from Los Gatos, California, ran the most Trophy Series events in 2006, with 18 finishes earning him 334.3 points for third spot.

Two women from Laramie, Wyoming topped the women’s field in the Marathon and Shorter category. Annette Van Baalen, 38, was first with 351.3 points and Gail Leedy was second (231.8 points). Rounding out the field was last year’s overall winner, Tania Pacev, 47, of Littleton, Colorado, with 209.6 points.

Young marathoners turned on the heat in the 10-19 year old age groups, as five young men scored the same number of points for doing one marathon each, but top honors went to Vito Fazzio for having the fastest time, 3:47:46, at the Haulin Aspen Marathon in Bend, Oregon, in August. Three girls in the 10-19 age category tied at 104.8 points each for completing a marathon, but Allison Stockstell, from Hamburg, Iowa, came out ahead wth her 4:35:16 finishing time at the Deadwood Mickelson Trail Marathon in Deadwood, South Dakota on June 4^th.

Eighteen prize packages including diverse goodies from Trophy Series sponsors are awarded to the top three male and female winners in the Ultra category and each top age group placer in the Marathon and shorter category. Plus, two lucky Trophy Series participants will receive prize packages through a random drawing. The packages include products from GoLite, LaSportiva, DeFeet, Julbo, Spenco, Injinji, Salomon, Protech, Pro Tech Athletics, Nathan, Mont Bell, Kahtoola, Honey Stinger and Bad to the Bone.

Participants can visit www.trailrunnermag.com for full results on the 2006 Trail Runner Trophy Series. Profiles of the top men and women will appear in the special Trophy Series race issue of Trail Runner magazine, to be released in February, 2007.

Plans for the 2007 Trophy Series is already underway. Interested race directors interesting in being a Trophy Series race should apply online before December 1, 2006 at: http://trailrunnermag.com/surveys/2007TrailRunnerTrophySeries.HTM

----

Top Ultramarathon Women

1. Van Phan, Maple Valley, WA, 35, 1462.2 points
2. Tracy Thomas, Champaign IL, 45, 901.8 points
3. Nikki Kimball, Bozeman MT, 35, 772 points

Top Ultramarathon Men

1. Graham Cooper, Oakland CA, 36, 574 points
2. Eric Grossman, Emory WA, 38, 572 points
3. Rainer Schulz, Roy WA, 63, 562 points

Marathon and Shorter Age Group Winners, Women

• 10-19 years old--Allison Stockstell, Hamburg, IA, 19, 104.8 points
• 20-29 years old--Rachel Lynn Post, Plymouth, MI, 26, 183.4 points
• 30-39 years old--Annette Van Baalen, Laramie, WY, 38, 351.3 points
• 40-49 years old--Tania Pacev, Littleton, CO, 47, 200 points
• 50 and over--Gail Leedy, Laramie WY, 52, 231.8 points

Marathon and Shorter Age Group Winners, Men

• 10-19 years old--Vito Fazzio, Vancouver WA, 16, 104.8 points,
• 20-29 years old--Nathan Brown, Littleton CO, 27, 175.3 points
• 30-39 years old--Brian Beckort, Tell City, IN, 33, 401.9 points
• 40-49 years old--Hugh Davis, Tell City, IN, 42, 518.5 points
• 50 and over--Heath Hibbard, Montrose, CO, 53, 185.4 points

Trail Runner is the country’s leading magazine for off-road running enthusiasts and athletes. In-depth editorial and compelling photography informs, entertains and inspires readers of all ages and abilities to enjoy the outdoors and to improve their health and fitness through the sport of trail running. www.trailrunnermag.com

For nearly 80 years, La Sportiva has been leading in technical outdoor-footwear innovation and design. We do this because we believe. We believe your trail-running shoes should never come between you and the planet—they should ground you to it. La Sportiva is always inventing, always rethinking, always dreaming. Trail runners ourselves, we recognize the thin line between dream and belief. And then we erase it by designing the best shoes on the planet. www.sportiva.com

GoLite sparked a lightweight revolution in 1999 when it introduced a full range of ultra-lite equipment and clothing for backpacking and other active outdoor adventures that rocked the outdoor sports world. Today the company sponsors more than 50 professional athletes in trail running, adventuring racing, mountain biking, fast-packing and thru-hiking and regularly shares fast + lite techniques in outreach seminars around the world. For more information on GoLite products, athletes, and outreach programs, visit www.GoLite.com or call 888-5-GoLite toll-free within the U.S.

Trail Runner is the country’s leading magazine for off-road running enthusiasts and athletes. In-depth editorial and compelling photography informs, entertains and inspires readers of all ages and abilities to enjoy the outdoors and to improve their health and fitness through the sport of trail running. www.trailrunnermag.com

For nearly 80 years, La Sportiva has been leading in technical outdoor-footwear innovation and design. We do this because we believe. We believe your trail-running shoes should never come between you and the planet—they should ground you to it. La Sportiva is always inventing, always rethinking, always dreaming. Trail runners ourselves, we recognize the thin line between dream and belief. And then we erase it by designing the best shoes on the planet. www.sportiva.com

GoLite sparked a lightweight revolution in 1999 when it introduced a full range of ultra-lite equipment and clothing for backpacking and other active outdoor adventures that rocked the outdoor sports world. Today the company sponsors more than 50 professional athletes in trail running, adventuring racing, mountain biking, fast-packing and thru-hiking and regularly shares fast + lite techniques in outreach seminars around the world. For more information on GoLite products, athletes, and outreach programs, visit www.GoLite.com or call 888-5-GoLite toll-free within the U.S.

Watch Football? I Don't Think So ...........

Thanksgiving is usually a day to watch a game or 2 and indulge in turkey. We decided instead to celebrate National Ammo Day a few days late. I'd already bought ammo, but I'll have to buy some more next week as the kids and I stepped out the back door and hit the GrumpyUnk Firing Range for a couple hundred rounds of fun.

Look at that. Coffee. Smokes. Firearms and Ammo. If there were a couple of big breasted babes in there it'd be perfect.
















This is convenient as hell. Literally, right out the back door. Yeah, it can't be real good for the trees and I plan on making a target frame eventually. But hey, it's all good.
















Yes, I confess. Those are feed sacks tacked up on the trees. No, I don't mind being a Hillbilly. Thank you very much.

Bumpersticker of the Week ...............

The wife called me today while she was out resupplying the "GrumpyUnk Command and Control Bunker" and told me about this one she saw.


.................. Rehab is for Quitters!!! ........................



Yeah, that's my new favorite.

Wishing Y'all a Happy Thanksgiving .................

Hope everyone has a good Holiday tomorrow. Remember all of the things we have to be thankful for. And if you're looking at the grass from the green side? It's a good day.

Be careful if you're driving over the river and thru the woods to Grandmothers house tomorrow.

And say a special prayer of thanks and protection for our Service members of the Armed Forces.

And if you can't get Turkey? Try this.
Extra bonus points if you piss off a vegan tomorrow.

















Special Update!!!

In the Comments to this post, Jean has this to say - "hmph... couldn't have thrown in bit of Chippendale's for us gals?..."

Chippendale - Chappaquidick.
Close enough.

Never say I don't cater to you folks!

After one short year, Trail Runner Magazine is shutting down the "Inside Dirt" e-zine.

Subscribers to the e-mail magazine got the following notification this weekend:

"Dear Inside Dirt Reader :

We hope you have been enjoying our monthly digital newsletter "Inside Dirt." We are sorry to announce that we are only publishing one more issue. Your last copy of Inside Dirt will be emailed on December 15. We have decided to better serve you and our Trail Runner readers by putting more energy into the magazine and enhancing our website (www.trailrunnermag.com).

The website will feature a brand-spanking-new look very soon, and include more fresh content and a deeper archive well. With Issue 43 (December-January), we’ve also given the magazine a facelift, with a cleaner design. We hope you enjoy these changes.

Happy trails!
The staff at Trail Running Magazine"

Rumor has it that Inside Dirt got less than 200 subscribers at the $1/month fee. It appears this wasn't enough to keep it going, even though their content was free (since it was provided by readers). Too bad - I thought the reader-provided content was a nice alternative to the glossy TRM magazine. Perhaps we will find those contributors in the blogosphere soon enough.

On a side note, TRM is also running a new contest to give away two entries to the Costa Rica Coastal Challenge in San Jose, Costa Rica (entries only - you pay for flights). If interested, you can enter online here.

- SD

There's Sick Shit...and Then there's This Kinda Sick Shit............
Lawyer argues sex with dead deer not crime.

No. Not right, not right at all. Just how screwed up in the head do you have to be to haul a dead deer off into the woods and have sex with it? I mean, you should buy it dinner and a few drinks first, right?

And just how screwed up do you have to be to ARGUE about a case like this. One more reason to hate lawyers.
Professor Schlong - That evil genius, photoshopped the following picture. Priceless.

The last paragraph in the article has an interesting tidbit. -

"The misdemeanor charge carries a maximum penalty of nine months in jail and a fine of up to $10,000. If convicted, Hathaway could serve a prison term of up to two years because of a previous conviction. In April 2005, Hathaway pleaded no contest to one felony charge of mistreatment of an animal for the shooting death of Bambrick, a 26-year-old horse, to have sex with the animal." Bold per YerUnk.

I'm thinking sex with animals is gonna be taking on a whole new dimension for this young fellow soon. Very Soon.

War Stories....................

OK, maybe I should call this "Army Stories" as YerUnk never had to go to war in all the years I served, but War Stories sounds better. Just wanted to get that out there so everyone was on the same page. I did a combined 10 years, active and reserve and had a hell of a lot of fun for the most part and got to meet some weird and wonderful people along the way.

Let me tell ya about Sgt. Dave. He'd be included in the weird group, BTW.

Dave was an E7 (That's Sgt 1st Class, for you non-military types) and our new Platoon Sgt. You're always a little apprehensive about any new leadership change and it was no different with Sgt Dave.
Now Sgt Dave was a real, no shit by Damn, war hero. TWO Silver Stars. That's correct, Two of 'em. 3 Purple Hearts, at least 2 Bronze Stars and a host of other medals, some of them from army's, OTHER than the U.S. Yeah, a genuine stud. Now that gives a fellow automatic credibility with most GI's so we all were wanting to see how Sgt Dave was gonna run things.

Sgt Dave was also a Friggin' Genius. For real. He had the highest GT scores of anyone I had ever seen, before or since. He was probably MENSA class IQ.

He also had a first class case of OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I'm sure PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Dave had earned his decorations as a "Tunnel Rat" in 'Nam and it had tweaked his brain a bunch. Looking back in retrospect I can see He tried hard to control his OCD. He kept a daily planner with him that was filled out every morning in 15 minute increments on how he expected his day to go. Yeah, reality based.

Now all of you know that a day rarely goes as planned and Dave would get all bent out of shape if there were unexpected changes to anything he had planned in his schedule, which I took to calling, "His Wish Book".
He'd get all pissed off and would then mutter his trademark line - "That's F*cked Up, Man. We Gotta Talk."

It didn't take to long for most of us to figure out that Sgt Dave was Batshit Crazy. I tried to just do my shit and stay out of his way and most everyone else did the same thing. We did occasionally hide his daily planner from him if he was going off on some weird tangent. That would keep him occupied long enough for one of the other Sgt's to get things in order and achieve whatever mission needed to be done that day. Plus it was kinda fun f*ckn' with his head.

Then we went to NTC.

NTC is The National Training Center at Ft Irwin, Ca. It is an incredible training facility and maybe the only Laser Tag Facility in the world with a designated Satellite for keeping score.

Taking a unit to NTC is a big deal as you have to pack up all your shit, load all the tanks and such on train cars and then go spend 4 weeks in Death Valley and play war games with the home team there, known as The OPFOR. The OPFOR, back then, had vehicles mocked up to look like Soviet stuff, wore Soviet type uniforms and followed Soviet doctrine in conducting battles. It's a neat place and you got good training while getting your asses kicked.

Dave was going bugshit getting things ready to go and was a total OCD wreck, before we even left to go to NTC. He'd worried so much over all the little shit that he just about drove himself around the bend, mentally and physically.

I was glad when we left, because the plan in Sgt Dave's Wish Book, called for me to be assigned to the Artillery Battery, which pretty much assured I'd not see Sgt Dave for most of the time I was out there. OK!

When we all got to the NTC, reality on the ground changed the planning in Sgt Dave's Wish Book and bit me in the ass. I got stuck being assigned with the Headquarters Group (HQ). Shit! I was drafted to be the driver on one of the M-113 EVAC vehicles and my TC, or Track Commander, was to be Corporal Rock. Yeah, that was his name, Rock. He caught a lot of grief about it, but thank G-d he never was promoted to be, Sgt Rock. Nobody could ever deal with that name in the Army.

Rock was an OK guy and easy to team with and we did a good job through the time at NTC.

Here's what one of the M-113 we used looks like -










Yeah, they're a big Boxy armored vehicle. I didn't mind driving them and they would go most anywhere, if you weren't in a hurry.

Now the OPFOR, following Standard Soviet Doctrine, had a group of Soviet Special forces, or Spetsnaz assigned to them. These dudes would recon rear area support facilities and either lead raids, call in artillery or just generally cause havoc with support units. Like the one I was hooked up with. Over the course of the 2 weeks that we were out in the field playing war games, the OPFOR Spetsnaz group had nailed every support unit but ours. There was a lot of trash talk and money being bet between the guys at OPFOR and the senior NCO's and Officers in our unit as the days wound down to the end of the training exercise as to if they would get our ass'es.

And Sgt Dave was getting crazy as a Shithouse Rat about it.

NTC is a very intense and physically demanding training environment. You generally don't receive more than 2-4 hours sleep a night for the entire time you're out there and they keep you humping and jumping. It's a deliberate thing to teach you what to expect in a real battle situation.

So Sgt Dave was getting more exhausted by the minute. With the stress of being in charge of all the shit he was in charge of, coupled with the Spetsnaz threat, he was a basket case. You could hear him coming as he walked around muttering to himself, "That's F*cked up, Man. We gotta talk". All the time, everywhere he went.

It came down to the last 24 hours of the actual field problem and the bad guys hadn't gotten to our unit yet. I thought Dave was gonna blow a gasket just standing in place. He was totally fixated on us not being nailed by the Spetsnaz. We didn't stay in the same place for more than 1 hour the whole day and as soon as night fell, we moved again. After about the 3rd move it was 12 or 1 am and the officer in charge finally said that was it.

Sgt Dave wasn't happy about that, but being the good soldier he was, he followed orders and had us set up in a real nice low waddi, or low area, in our usual "Hedgehog" position. That's where all the vehicles form a circle facing out for maximum defensive purposes. Sgt Dave was bound and determined that, even if they found us, they weren't going to overrun our asses. So his big idea was for every single man to be on guard at all times till morning.

Yeah right. Everyone was dog ass tired after 2 weeks of nonstop battles and wargames and we knew it was back into post the next day for a few days of fix up, clean up and load up. And a shower!

So nobody gave a shit if the bad guys found us or not. We were parked on a little slope facing up and I crawled under the track with my rifle and E-tool, that's the Army folding shovel, and set up to provide covering fire if the bad guys did find us. I told Corporal Rock to leave the radio on and keep his ear peeled, but take a nap and I'd keep watch. Now, it was about 2 or 3 in the morning by this time and I figured we were home free.

No sucj luck. Here came Sgt Dave. He was going around to every vehicle and checking if everyone was awake and alert. I could tell from his muttering that he was not happy and a bunch of folks had been asleep. He was wearing a Tee shirt, Boxers and flipflops and he came flapping up to my track talking to himself and bitching about not seeing anyone on guard.

As he walked past the front of the track, without saying a word, I reached out and grabbed his ankle.

And all hell broke loose. He jumped so high and so fast, I damn near broke my wrist by hitting it on the underside of the track. He had jumped so fast, I hadn't been able to turn loose quick enough.

Simultaneously, he let out the most blood curdling scream I've ever heard. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then he went totally unhinged. He totally came apart and went totally friggin' crazy. He must've forgot about the bad guys who were looking for us, because he started running around the track screaming at me to come out. All the while saying he was going to kill me. I just scooted in a little farther, so he couldn't reach me with out crawling in after me. I figured I'd bash his head in with the butt of the rifle or the E-tool if need be, but there was no way I was coming out from under that track.

This went on for a few minutes till the Chief warrant Officer came over to see WTF was going on. He was totally unable to get Sgt Dave calmed down and told me to stay put till he had Sgt Dave in hand. That took a big shot of Valium to accomplish and about 20 minutes later came back and chewed my ass for "Driving my Platoon Sgt F*ckn' Nuts"!

And he really was, F*ckn' Nuts. And stayed that way. We convoyed back to the base in the morning as planned and began the process of clean up, pack up and load up. That takes about a week.

However, there were still things going on out in the field that required medics to be available. And Spc Rock and I were now the go to guys. We had brought the track we were using with us from Ft Bliss and were free from the clean up and maintenance required of those who had gotten tracked vehicles issued to them from the NTC stock. So we were it for anything that needed medics or transport.

Two days after returning into post from the official field problem, Rock got a call on the radio from Sgt Dave. Someone had gotten hurt and needed transport. We met up with Sgt Dave and he gave us the map grid coordinants of where we should go to pickup the injured GI. He never even looked at me or acted like anything had ever happened a couple of nights before. I was cool with that as I had never intended to totally launch him into the Twilight Zone he ended up in.

He spread a map out on the hood of his vehicle and showed us the most direct route to our injured GI and where the battalion Aid Station was set up at.

Sgt Dave had met us at the intersection of 2 trails, one of which just happened to be the one to take us to our GI. I figured his OCD wanted to make sure we were able to find our way without getting lost and he had met us there for that reason. Trails on Military maps are very deceiving at times. Sometimes they are easy to follow and sometimes they were a trail back in 1955 or some shit and there is absolutely no sign of a trail to follow. This one was easy to see as it led directly up over a 20 or 30 foot berm and headed due East. He even said a compass heading od due East would get us where we wanted to go. We split up and Rock and I headed out to get our injured Soldier.

The trail going up the Berm was pretty steep and it was pretty slow going at first till we reached the top and started back down.

Remember back a paragraph or so ago where I mentioned - "However, there were still things going on out in the field that required medics to be available for." Remember that? Guess what one of those things happened to be? Tank Gunnery.

Tank Gunnery, is target practice. Real tanks. Using real ammo. Shooting at painted plywood targets. Targets that look, amazingly enough, just like an M-113. Yep, just like Rock and I were driving.

And that Sonsabitch, Sgt Dave, had given us a route that led directly into and across an active Tank Gunnery Range. I had almost made it to the bottom of the slope when, "Pop" Up pops a target no more than 100 feet to my left front. Followed within seconds by a 120MM Sabot round perforating it. and a few seconds later by the noise of the muzzle blast that launched the round. Tank target practice is not an up close thing, but several thousand yards, so it takes a second or two to hear the initial firing noise. (Here's a little info on Tank Rounds so you'll know what I'm talking about here).

Rock and I both realized at the same time what the hell was going on and we both screamed, OH SHIT. THAT MOTHERF***** TRIED TO KILL US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To say the least, we were not happy.

The M-113 is a great vehicle but it will not go up a steep grade in reverse. That berm I was talking about? It was a man made thing for the Gunnery Range used to keep dumbass GI's from doing just what we were doing. Driving right into our death on a live fire range. I said the hell with it and hit the gas and flew down the slope and made a U-turn as fast as I could and hauled ass out of there with a head of steam up.

We found an alternate route to where we were supposed to go and pick up our injured GI. Yeah, you guessed it. No injured GI. We made a couple of radio calls just to make sure, and nobody knew of or had heard of any injured soldiers. We radioed back to the Chief Warrant Officer, who was the medical officer and told him we were coming back without a patient.

Just as we were arriving back at our unit area, Sgt Dave came in from the opposite direction. He hopped out of his truck and started walking toward the Battalion Aid Station.

YES!!!

I drew a bead on that Bastard and hit the gas. Now, I couldn't just run over him if he made it into the Aid Station Tent as I would for sure kill some innocent folks in the process of ridding us of Sgt Dave. Sgt Dave came to that same conclusion, when he was 30 or 40 feet from the entrance of the tent and I was 40 or 50 feet from him. He was on foot and I was in a 12 ton Armored Track going 25 or 30 MPH and accelerating. Odds favoring a Track vehicle usually, but that bastard ran like a damn Jackrabbit.

It was close, but the Bastard made it. Unfortunately, I did a serious brushback on a Captain who was just walking around the corner of the Aid Station, so I kept on going and hoped he didn't see the ID number on the rear of the Track as he was diving out of the way.

As luck would have it, he didn't take time to look and we stayed gone for 2 or 3 hours, claiming we got lost out in the desert.

After that, Sgt Dave stayed in his little tent, except to eat and use the can. He didn't even take a shower until the Chief ordered him to. You could walk past his tent at any hour of the night and he'd be in there sitting up watching out from the shadows. He had gone completely over the edge and then some.

He went home on the first bus back to El Paso and we never saw him again.

The Chief figured out what had happened pretty quick. Between the rumors and the whole, non-existent injured soldier routine, he pretty well knew what had gone down. He called me over after chow one night and asked me about it and I told him the whole story straight up. There was no use lying to him as he was like G-D and would've known if I was BS'ing him anyway. He just nodded his head a few times and mumbled -

"That's F*cked up, Man. We Gotta Talk."

National Ammo Day ...................












I have been remiss on posting this. My Bad.

I mentioned this briefly, last week and then let it go. Unlike that happy ass, feel good BS about - "If you love something, let it go and it will return to you." Once MY brain lets something go ......... It's gone.

I haven't gotten to the point where I have to remind myself to breath. Yet.

Anyhow, I'm gonna repost the link HERE. And let Kim DuToit explain it. Since it's his idea. I like it.

I don't know if this kinda thing makes a bit of difference in the big picture. I do know that Shooting Sports are good clean fun and EVERYONE should be familiar with Firearms. If for no other reason than safety and informed opinion about them.

Oh yeah, buying ammo now is probably a good idea anyway. The price is gonna go up. Our new leadership in, Sodom on the Potomac, have not forgotten gun control and taxation of ammo is one of the things that have been offered up as a solution.

So go buy at least 100 rounds of something this week. Better yet. Go shoot 100 rounds or so with a friend or family member who's not familiar with shooting. Then go buy 200 rounds.

Mike Pierce has a unique way to train for the Antarctic 100k - he runs in a commercial freezer twice a week, doing 44 out-and-backs for each mile. But Mike has already done the Antarctica Marathon (7 hours, 10 minutes), so he knows one must prepare for the extreme temperature (-10 to 10 degrees Fahrenheit) and 20+ mph winds. This year he is training hard for his first ultra - the Antarctic 100k.

I asked Mike a few questions over e-mail to see how his training was going:

For God’s sake, why run your first ultra in Antarctica?

First and foremost, I am a big fan of antarctic history. As a (motivational) speaker, I use the historical exploration stories from the antarctic to illustrate principles of success, goal setting, dealing w/obstacles beyond your control, sudden and unexpected change, marketing yourself to stand out from competitors and other business related issues in my speaking engagements. A marathon last January and an ultramarathon this December for me are my way of sharing in the same struggles physically, emotionally and mentally that the early Antarctic pioneers faced. I then can help engage people better in the stories and experiences, thus they learn far more. That is why I am doing this.

Have you run ultramarathons before?

No, never an ultra.

What sort of endurance training have you done to date?

Runs, cycling and swimming ranging from 1-2 hours all the way to running full length marathons in training runs and a 24 hour spin cycle event in the freezer.

Can you describe the conditions you are expecting? What is your target water/food intake?

Conditions will be windy and dry. Water and food intake will be continuous, about every 20 min I will eat something. I will have gels, powerbars, protein/carbo powder that I chase w/water, and almonds for fat content. The footing is like running in thick sand, as the snow is very dry, cold and granular. Course is for the most part flat and very, very monotonous.

What has it been like training in a commercial freezer? Claustrophobic at all?

I love the freezer. I have been going there for the last 1.5 years, multiple times per week. I go there w/no training partner, no ipod, no nothing. Just me and the crates of chickens, pizzas and who knows what. Not claustrophobic, just monotonous but I know that if I can run circles around the same crates of food for hours, the real race is much easier, and that was the case in Jan when I did the two marathons in the Antarctic.

Will you have to use special shoes/equipment, or does your existing stuff stand up to the challenge?

Just trail shoes lined in gore-tex w/2 good wool sox. I wear Duofold base layer, fleece mid layer and a 3-ply gore-tex XCR on the outer, neoprene face guards and goggles. That is it.

Ever thought about doing the other extreme, like the Badwater Ultra?

No hot weather stuff or any main stream racing interests me. My next event I want to do, after a huge needed rest for a few months, will be a mountain run in Colorado at a very high altitude in a snow storm, possibly along the cat tracks of the ski area A-Basin, the highest ski area in North America. I want to do a full length marathon there, probably by myself. I also want to race in the Arctic, either at the North Pole or along the Arctic Sea somewhere.

Thanks for the interview, Mike, and good luck with your race next month!

- SD

Working on the Lost Links, Etc...............

I've been putting off this project for awhile, so I worked a bit on the links that were lost awhile back & added a few new ones tonight. I still need to replace the links I had to the Soldiers and Servicemember support areas. I'll get those up soon.

Here's some of the new, Hoosier Mafia folks -
Mrs Jose Goldbloom

http://www.jwiley.typepad.com

Dazd and Confused

Here's Army Wife and friend - Shannon. Who got lost on the big mess and link disaster.

And last but not least is Jean. Pondering, while looking through a Beauvoirglass.

Now, if I have missed anyone who was, should be or wants to be over on the links sidebar, drop me a line and I'll see how ambitious I feel and/or what kind of mood I'm in.

Fartin' around with the links and what not shouldn't be all that big a deal, but I have a remarkable talent for screwing things up. I did keep a copy of the revised template this time, so if I screw it up again, I will hopefully be able to fix it easier.

Maybe.

This picture gives you an idea of what I look like when I start working on computer crap. I'm talkin' work.

Medora Bridge..............

Continuing with our ride last week, Clint and I rode to The Medora Bridge next -








I didn't take this picture. It came from This site. One of several sites, that reader, Charley was nice enough to send me. This sorta' participation is encouraged, folks. Thanks, Charley!!

This Bridge is HUGE. 458 feet long, built on three piers. It's the longest covered bridge in the United States and the last standing triple span bridge in Indiana. I doubt that's gonna be true for long. This bad boy is in rough shape and is not gonna be here long.

Supposedly, there was a significant amount of money set aside for repairs in 2000. I didn't see any indication of them spending it on the bridge. The roof, on the East end is bad and leaks a lot of water, and there's not enough sunlight to dry anything out, so the deck is going fast. It was spongy with just me walking on it. Yes, I'm overweight, but not that damn much.
You can see some of the roof damage (Sorry for the blurry pic) here -















This is probably a bad sign too-
















But you gotta love the graffiti! "Kyle is a Fagget". Maybe, maybe not, but one can hope that Kyle can spell better than this Doofus.

Bridges? Yes We Have More Bridges.....................

Or a Bridge on this post. I'm gonna limit this to one, as the internet connection continues to be flakey and the pics make uploading these a bit dicey at times.

Went out last week for a couple of hours and rode with friend, co-worker and ManCamper, Clint. Clint bought his first bike this year and is close to becoming one of the "Hopelessly Devoted" rider types. Mr. T, (Xray Guy Extraordinaire) and I have been working on him hard. His KungFu is strong and just needs some developement.

Anyhow, we went and hit a couple of local bridges on our bike ride, starting with the Shieldstown Bridge. Built only 11 years after the Civil War. Amazing -






























Unfortunately, this bridge has been pretty neglected and has some serious Termite and or Carpenter Bee damage as is evident in this pic -

It amazes me how they built these things and the piers that they sit on, given what they had to work with back then. Incredable. This bridge could be kept intact with a minimal amount of work. Mostly treatment for insects. Unfortunately, it ain't gonna happen anytime soon and it'll be in the river some morning after a big storm. Shame really, but there's only so much $$$ to go around in this world and that's the way it is.

331 feet. Yep, a big long tunnel.

Dean Karnazes has decided to jog home after his last marathon. Good way to cool down? Sure, unless of course your last marathon was in New York, and your home is in San Francisco.

Yup, that's right. Krazy Karno has decided to cap off his 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days by running across the country to get home. He really IS Forrest Gump! He's made it to Philadelphia, PA so far (you can track his progress on the Runner's World site here). I wish him the best of luck - it's going to get damn cold in the Rockies, that's for sure.

Below is the YouTube link to the Epilogue of his 50-50-50 adventure. I know not all ultrarunners like his self-promotion, but he's clearly inspiring a lot of people to run. I've met a lot of first-time ultrarunners who signed up because of his book, and I know some of them will stick with it forever. Totally cool.

Since I'm on a Military Trend Here Today .......
(and Stealing pictures left and right from SondraK.)

I should note an article at her place from an active duty soldier. This gives you a pretty good idea of how The Troops Doing the Fighting feel about Tuesday's election results.

Makes me feel pretty bad for them. Those of you who have never served yourself or have not had a close friend or relative in the Armed Forces maybe won't understand.

I understand completely.

Despite all you have heard from the lying ass media, retention has been not been that much of a problem. If we kick the props out from under these guys, it's gonna be. We'll have some long term ramifications that will not be good for any of us too.

I suppose Charlie Rangel (asshole, New York) will be happy if he gets to bring back the draft. My guess is he'll not want people to remember him talking that shit in a few years. Just a guess, but we'll see.

Tomorrow is Veterans Day...........

Tell a vet (or 2) thanks for their service.

Happy Birthday to the US Marines ............

231 years of service. Badass Service.










Stole this pic from SondraK too.
She's the shit on Military things.










Don't remember where I got this Chesty Puller Pic, but it's a good one and what better time than now? God Bless all of our men and woman in uniform, but to day belongs to the Marines.

Semper Fi!

My Liver May Sue For Damages ...........

And a good time was had by all at ManCamp. Except a certain internal organ which may have strained itself in the last 24 hours.

Luke Skywalker brought Bambi Steaks marinated in some sort of Jedi mixture. Uuuuuuummmmm. The force is strong in his bowhunting skills. 4 days ago that little Bambi was happily frolicking in the woods and fields. Last night most of his prime cuts were wrapped and grilled with a mess of 'taters, onion, peppers, etc. Dead cow steaks and several side dishes, filled out the meal. All washed down with unhealthy amounts of Beer.
I was gonna pickup some of this to grill, but thought better of it.















Jokes, lies, guitars and farts continued into the early hours. Yes, I felt a bit rough on arising this morning (After not near enough sleep). I donated a Mr. Coffee, coffee maker after our first ManCamp and that came in handy right away. After coffee and a couple of bottles of water I started feeling human again and made the trek back home to the "GrumpyUnk Command and Control Bunker".

I'm seeing a nap on the near horizon. Hey, I don't do all nighters to well anymore and I really didn't drink a lot. But I don't drink much at all, or with any regularity, so I was feeling it when I dragged my ass out of the fartsack this morning.

Don't forget - November is National Ammo Day. Buy 100 rounds at least. Don't know what National Ammo Day is? I'll let Kim tell ya. He says it much better than I can and he's already written about it before. If you enjoy firearms and shooting sports, along with some good writing, you should be reading him already.

Random Thoughts on a Wednesday Morning ........

The Elections are over, Thank G-d. - Well, except for the wailing and the gnashing of teeth. Sackcloth and ashes by some, gloating and revenge planning by others. The Stupid Party got their asses handed to them yesterday. No surprise there. I'm sure the Republic will survive and I'm not gonna get all worn out crying about what should have been, etc, etc. They got what they deserve and as much as I hate to see the Evil Party in charge of things, life will go on.

The good news? No more friggin' campaign advertising on the airwaves for 2 years. Jeebus, I'm sick of that shit.

ER News - I got to use one of my favorite lines yesterday. It's great to be able to inform a young Zombie Gurl on why she's been so nauseated every morning - "You have sperm poisoning, Honey".

Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside when I get to use that one. Even though we'll all have to work overtime to pay for the care and feeding of this newest Zombie Kid till we all die.

ManCamp is Tonight - I shamelessly stole the name, "ManCamp" from SteveH at Hog on Ice. I suppose I ought to have asked him about that, but somehow I doubt he'll give a shit. If you're not reading him though, you should. He's a funny guy.

ManCamp essentially consists of a bunch of my Manly, Male Nurse Co-workers from the ER getting together and cooking meat, drinking beer, spitting, telling lies, farting, sitting around the campfire and playing guitar. You know, Manly things. Or basic Dumbass Guy Shit, depending on your point of view if you have an estrogen overload.

I suppose It's about perspective. Or a Breasticles vs Testicles thought processing thing. Whatever. It's good for my mental hygiene, sort of a "Mental Massingill", if you will.

I'm gonna have to go find my Fartsack (sleeping bag for you non-military types) and put together some side dishes to go with the meat. I'll hit the Beer Store on the way out there. It is Way Out There, too. A nice little log cabin on a lake out in the hinterlands of Flyover country.

Bridge stuff - Found a nice database of Covered Bridge stuff Here, that'll make planning a bit easier on the next roadtrip day. It's not like I need much of a reason to get out and go on the Motorcycle, but the Bridges make for a good excuse as any.

OK. That's it for now. I've got shit to do.

Gratuitous funny pic for you.