"Hot Fun in the Summertime ......"
I kept hearing that great, Sly and the Family Stone song running through my head last night at work as the ER was inundated with Zombies of every flavor, style and variety.
One never knows just what kind of day you're gonna have when you go to work in the ER. I've been doing this a long time now and it still remains a mystery.
Apparently, the Borg Collective that regulates the process of inspiring good ideas in the Zombie population decided that it was a good day to get drunk and stupid.
As in -
Get drunk and take a handful of pills.
Get drunk and pass out in someone else's yard.
Get drunk and kick a Cops ass. Yeah, that one didn't work out to well for ZombieBoy.
There was a large number of folks who have had minor aches and pains - For months - who just had to go down to the ER and have it figured out - RIGHT FRIGGIN' NOW!!!
This group always makes me laugh when I'm in the Triage role as I was last night.
Me - "So how long has this been bothering you?"
Zombie - "A while."
Me - "A while? How long of a while? A day or two, a week,
since Jimmy Carter was President?"
Zombie - "Who?"
Me - "Scratch that. Since the 'A Team or Magnum PI' was on TV and not the re-runs?"
Zombie - "Not that long. A couple of months."
Me - "Glad we got that cleared up."
And it's always this group who have to ask - "Why is it so busy tonight and taking so long?"
I REALLY gotta watch myself when I give an answer to that shit.
I always try to be very factual and emphasize, in my most condescending way, that "Some people just don't understand the definition of EMERGENCY."
And sure as shit, they don't believe that they are part of that group.
It's pretty damn funny as long as you aren't out in the waiting room with a real illness or injury.
I always try, emphasis on TRY, to sort and move people who need it through to the back first. Sometimes things get tweaked and don't work out as you'd like. The EMS crews will be coming in the back door and people get put into rooms I've slotted for a particular patient.
Just part of the job and you have to adapt the plan on days like that.
Some days are better than others and I was in a pretty good mood last night and things moved pretty well overall.
We had a couple of good Doctors and everything flows from them. If the Docs don't move people the whole process backs up and things go to shit.
Last night went pretty well considering how things could have gone, the crowd we had and how high the, DumbShit Factor was.
I've got a ton of things to do today, including a run down to the Ohio River to help the oldest son move this evening.
After getting home late last night and sleeping in late this morning I gotta get going, but my motivation factor is running in the direct opposite direction as the thermometer, which is hanging around the low 90's right now.
Could be a problem.
Gratuitous Picture for a Wednesday-
Big Guns.
